Bridget Mallory's Diary
by Kirzsid
Summary: Preview from story; Good life is over. Mother says Durmstrang is crap. Just because I get caught in the boys dorm five times a week. Am being transferred to Hogwarts. A diary in the life of Bridget as she charms the male population teachers included .
1. Welcome To Hogwarts

_A/N: I read a few HP/ Bridget Jones crossovers, must now try to write one. Mostly for my enjoyment. Main ideas from 'Draco Malfoy's Army', story no longer in process. _

**Saturday, August 28th**

124lbs (Candy overload), Sweets 23 aprox., Fags 2 (Considering patch things that help with that), Time in front of mirror 20 minutes (Improvement)

7:30am

_Good life is over. Mother says Durmstrang is crap. Just because I get caught in the boys dorm five times a week. Am being transferred to Hogwarts. Done the rounds saying fare well to friends. Got minions to fetch me tea and chocolates._

8:26am

_Mother is here. Said no use keeping anything here as no possibility I will ever return. Said quick (15 minutes) fair well to Thomas in broom closet. Packed up and ready to leave perfect life behind._

9:34am

_Stopped writing in search of tea and chocolates on train, successful. Hogwarts, mother tells me is a prestigious well rounded school full of nice suitable children. Does not sound like my cup of tea. Speaking of tea. This cup does not have enough sugar. Considering weight should go on diet, cut down on sugar intake and fags. Fags do help with weight loss, cut down partly on fags._

_Mood; Rebellious _

_Music; Hello My Treacherous Friends Ok Go_

**Sunday, 29th August**

_122lbs (Good start), Sweets 0, Fags 3 (Using three patches), Time in front of mirror 15 minutes (Proud of self)_

5:46pm

_Received shit letter from school regarding joining the sixth years and contents of shopping list. Mother and I went shopping at 'Diagon Alley' strange place filled with stranger people. Met three people that go by the "Golden Trio". Famous boy Harry Potter, Vigorous red head Ron Weasly and Bushy beaver Hermione Granger. Bushy took instant dislike to me after I hit on two strapping males. Conversation went as follows;_

"Hello you look new. Are you going to Hogwarts?" Bushy asked sweetly.

"Yes, I am transferring from Dumstrang." I replied hotly.

"You're pretty what's your name?" Vigorous red head asked.

"I was going to ask that! I was going to..." Famous boy rambled.

"Je m'appelle Bridget Mallory" I said in my perfect french.

"You speak french" Bushy said in a cold tone glaring at perfect self.

_So obviously have already gained two admirers and one enemy and a few gorgeous dress robes to impress all males._

9:28pm

_Am at lost of what to write. Hopeful that new school will not be a disaster. Leaving for start of term in three days. Just enough time for a fat flush._

_Mood; Hopeful_

_Music; As A Blonde Selena Gomez_

**Wednesday, 1st September**

_114lbs (Fat flush successful), Sweets 3 (Nervous habit), Fags 3 (Also nervous habit, wearing two patches), Time in front of mirror 20 minutes (In preparation of new school appearance)_

7:31am

_First day of school, ready in new school robes am to be sorted in front of __**WHOLE **__school in a room called the great hall. Luscious light blonde hair is curled and bright green eyes are accompanied with mascara and eye shadow of a light grey. I look stunning and even though the robe isn't very slimming I still look fabulous. _

12:46pm

_Strange way on getting to train by travelling through brick barrier, genius some might say_._ Am on train in compartment with Harry, Ron and Bushy. Boys still obsessed with me. Not that I'm complaining. I learnt about the school apparently Slytherin and Gryffindor are the good ones. Didn't know which one I preferred until a handsome Slytherin Draco Malfoy came in to insult Harry._

"Potter back for another year at Hogwarts?" He sneered, "Weasel still scraping by enough to pay for second hand clothes and Granger, well you're just annoying."

"Hey!", "Your git!" and "Watch your mouth!" were a few of the insults that were thrown out.

"Shut up! Is this a new girl, what's your name?" He said in a seductive tone.

"Bridget Mallory." I replied just as seductive.

"What house will you be in?" He asked leaning on the door frame in his dark green suit.

"Hopefully whatever one you're in." I replied winking.

"We'll see you in Slytherin" He replied walking away, "See you at school scar head."

_The boys then got all emotional about me flirting and wanting to be in Slytherin. Bushy seemed a bit more welcoming now that it seemed I had found a new target. I calmed the boys saying there was enough of me to go around and we spent the rest of the ride chatting about Hogwarts._

11:00pm

_I'm up in my dorm on my new...__**SLYTHERIN**__ bed. Malfoy and the others were pleased to have such a beauty like I in the house. Apparently a popular custom to call everyone by last name. Our House professor is Professor Snape. A mysterious man I intend to get closer to. Sorting hat concluded I was a perfect match for Slytherin being as I am. Being a pureblood and part veela helps too._

_Mood; Triumphant_

_Music; Other girls snoring (unattractive quality in ladies)_


	2. Plans and Tricks

**Thursday, September 2nd **

_115lbs (Evil Hogwarts feasts), Sweets 0 (Depressed), Fags 14 (Depressed), Time in front of mirror 0 minutes (Depressed)_

7:24am

_I will tell you diary why I am depressed. My seduction plans are sounding like crap._

_Stays late in potions, drop potion, ask for help, and fall on top of Potions Professor..._

_Join non-existent potion club, being only member will seduce Potions Professor..._

_Tell him straight I want him, shag Potions Professor..._

_Efforts will remain futile he does not seem type to fall easily into seduction, I shall however try. Timetable today includes transfiguration first, charms second, history of magic third and finally potion. Find hopefulness in class being last. Must go, new follower...Pastel or Panstel is calling. _

5:32pm

_I'm feeling elated. Figured I would go in order. Tried plan one today, successfully fell/slipped onto professor as he was cleaning potion. I know he is trying to act coy as he growled, pushed me off and told me to leave immediately. He was smart enough to prepare himself for students coming in and we will probably pick it up again in a later time in a more private place. Severus is indeed a genius, also he is not fond of me calling him by his first name in public again a clever precaution. Must go to dinner follower, Pansy is calling. Annoying thing, really._

_Mood; Elated_

_Music; Pansy calling name, more like wailing. Awful voice of hers._

**Saturday, September 4****th**

_113lbs (Eating wastes plotting time), Sweets 5 (But still find time), Fags 0 (Hogwarts is changing me, ugh), Time in front of mirror 23 minutes (I shall no longer dwell on time in front on mirror)_

8:52am

_Yesterday I met Draco in great hall, sat together during dinner. He invited me to Hogsmead on a school trip they regularly take. He seems to be greatly obsessed by now and I could definitely see though his blatant attempts at 'playing it cool'. I accepted, he makes very nice arm candy. Must go meet him and go on date to a tea shop or something. _

_Note; First date attire sliver tight top, soft sparkle (same colour as Draco's eyes. Not that I noticed), tight dark jeans and light gold high heels to match gold makeup and hair done in light curls._

_Mood; Excited_

_Music; I Want You To Want Me Cheap Trick_

9:27pm

_Date with Draco went swimmingly. Went to romantic lunch, seems to be pulling out everything he's got to grab my attention. When we first met he seemed to be a harder type. He tried for a kiss during date I allowed. He seemed very impressed and again very into me. All this happiness and I might just lose more weight, stop smoking and feel more confident in life than I do in relationships. Maybe Hogwarts is not that bad._

_Mood; Hopeful_

**Tuesday, September 7****th**

_110lbs (Relations over- rule food), Sweets 3 (Treats deserved), Fags 1 (Routine to be broken?)_

6:36pm

_No time to write at night, party in room of requirement for all 6__th__ and 7__th__ year Slytherin so I'm writing during dinner. Having to swat Draco's head away every time he tries to get a peak at my writing. Yesterday Harry and Ron sought me out during Defense Against The Dark Arts (at separate times) to ask how I am doing at school and casually try pick-up lines. Seems they still hold a candle for dear me. Luckily Draco is going home for two week holidays and Ron and Harry are staying now they know I am. Draco tried getting me to come and meet his parents over holidays I said I would think about it and promptly walked away leaving him thinking. Just because we've been on one date does not mean we are exclusive plus I am still working on seducing Professor. Will try plan two on Thursday._

_Mood; Thoughtful _

_Music; Until You're Mine Demi Lovato _


	3. Failed Attempts & New Beginnings

**Wednesday, September 8****th**

_112lbs (after party weight), Sweets 3000000 (give or take), Fags 1 (Sod off)_

7:35am

_Party was amazingly devious. Maybe Hogwarts is hotter than everyone thinks. Party was a smash. Will write down parts I remember._

I entered the party wearing a silver dress that sparkled every time I moved. My hair was curled and I look fabulous all over. Draco had taken me to the room.

"Fetch us some drinks." I said smiling at him as he left.

I walked away into the party. Ron approached me.

"Would you like to dance?" He asked smiling a way he probably meant to be seductively.

I nodded leading him onto the floor. We shimmed and swayed closely to the loud music that didn't exist outside those walls, coming from mega speakers on the walls. After a song I said I was hot and I'd see him later. I was thirsty so I scanned the room for Draco and found him up against a wall with Pansy all over him, kissing his mouth and neck and everywhere!

I walked over looking down at the forgotten cups, "What the hell is this?" I yelled.

He pushed her away and rambled on with a meaningless excuse. I slapped him and walked away.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked touching my hair and face.

"I am now you're here." I laughed pulling him onto the dance floor.

We danced vigorously and so close I could basically draw a picture of his body with my eyes closed. Draco was looking at us with envy so I decided to make it even better and kiss Harry. I locked onto him and with passion kissed him. Draco gaped at us and pushed a short guy in our grade to the ground on his way out of the party. As soon as he left I let go of Harry.

"Well this was fun, but I have to...powder my nose. Bye." I laughed exiting the party.

_All in all party was success only damper on my mood was the skank kissing the boy I claimed but I am partly over that. I wonder if boys here are used to girls going between them depending on what she wants that day. Durmstrang boys didn't mind but they usually didn't come with brains. Class time I think I have potions today or something._

12:46pm

_I want to scream. First Pansy thinks I'm going to just accept her back into my group after that stunt she pulled, NO! Second my mother sent me a letter saying I should focus on my school work when she knows I'm very very VERY smart for my age and third plan two on my seduce-Snape plan FAILED! The make- fake-potions-club-where-I-am-only-member-and-seduce-man one. First I came to him saying we should make a club and he said "Why would I want to spend even more time with annoying children teaching them something they will never understand!" and then I said "But what if it's only me? I am VERY interested in potions." then I winked and he kicked me out of his office! I mean seriously this whole relationship cover is getting old when does the shagging start?_

_I am very frustrated and I need a smoke or two or four or a billion! Screw classes. An empty field, a pack of smokes and a magazine is looking good right now._

**Thursday, September 9****th**

_115lbs, Sweets 6, Fags 2_

7:35pm

_Okay, I read that last entry this morning and I realised I sounded a tad dramatic and that I'm getting more emotionally attached to this whole diary thing but today all is good. Yes, I am dramatic but it's in my pure-veela-blood. My mother realised (after my very angry letter) that I was doing my absolute best and sent loads of money for a shopping spree for Hogsmead. Draco did a very dramatic apology in the great hall with 40 dozen white roses (dipped in sliver and green paint, where do boys get these ideas?) and a song. I accepted the apology but he's still on probation._

_Harry and Ron both tried talking to me today but I only gave them a few moments, I'm such a busy woman. I had potions again today. Seems like I always have potions, thank you whoever made my timetable. I went to plan three, telling him I wanted him straight. Going something like this;_

Class was over and everyone had left except me and the Professor.

"Professor I want you I'm done with plans and secrets were meant to be just stop hiding our love and let's shag!" I yelled passionately clutching his arms.

He stared for awhile and spoke in a low voice, "If you want me you'll have to work harder I'm not as easy as some."

_That was so basically an "I love you" in male speech. Their just like girls on the inside wanting to be all "mysterious" but I can figure it all out. I am elated and nothing can rain of this perfect parade of mine._

_Mood; WOOO!_

_Music; Total Eclipse of The Heart_


	4. I Can See Clearly Now

_A/n: So it's been awhile but I'm back, I think. Look out for the veronica mars quote. Oh and in my world she has potions everyday and I guess everyone else does too._

**Friday, September 10****th**

_114lbs, Sweets 0 (WOAH), Fags 1 (purely for image)_

8:24pm

_I am on an absolute high and nothing and no-one can tear me down! _

9:32pm

_At least I was. Until that Ginny puff-ball came by and told me Harry was __**her man **__and I better stay away from __**her man **__and if I don't stay away from __**her man**__ she would hex me! I mean talk about emphasis on a lie, she isn't even with Harry! He's on my list!_

_Anyway the only thing holding me together is my secret affair with Snape and my desperate housewives fan fiction! The dramatics are becoming me.  
_

**Monday, September 13****th**

_115lbs, Sweets 5, Fags 3 _

6:33pm

_I am once again writing while eating because I simply need to get the words out. I took the weekend off to relax from everything it was very efficient. Potions were very good today. I'll do a quick recount._

I entered the classroom and gave Severus a wink. Draco sat next to me and Harry sat across the room staring at me. I'm sure if that Ginny Puff was here she would be glaring at me. I laughed aloud and Draco looked at me with one eyebrow raised.

I smiled and shook my head whispering, "Nothing".

Severus flicked his wand and instructions on the potion appeared.

"Draco sweetie can you go get my ingredients for me while you're there?" I asked in my 'sweet' voice.

"O-Of course" He stammered smiling at me. He walked to the potions cabinet occasionally tripping on a book or bag and looking back sheepishly. I shook my head laughing, _boys_.

He returned after Harry walked by and waved. He glared at him and plopped my ingredients down in a huff. I liked potions and not just because it was taught by a sexy smouldering wizard by the name of Severus Snape, no I actually enjoyed making potions. Today we were making a hair colour changing potion, fairly simple but this one included streaks so it was a bit more complex. I stirred my potion over the heat occasionally glancing at my admirers. I decided blonde hair with blue streaks was a good combination so I put in a few beans and root of garn and smiled as the potion turned a gold colour with blue swirls. I poured it into a tube and bought it up to Snape's desk.

"Hello", I smirked putting my potion tube down and leaning closer, "Has anyone ever told you they wanted to bake cookies on your abs?"

He looked a little shocked but composed himself and smirked back, "They have now."

I smiled gleefully and swished back to my desk. I decided to take it slow with this one and work out a plan for total control.

_So, isn't it amazing! I am making so much progress. I wonder if Draco will try to make a move or Harry or Ron, I still haven't forgotten him._

**Wednesday, September 15****th**

_116lbs, Sweets 100, Fags 4_

4:29am

_I CANT SLEEP! I CANT SLEEP! I CANT SLEEP! _

_I have been going over and over what happened at dinner and I just don't understand how it could have happened! This is beyond 'wow-ness'. So first I get to dinner and I sit down with Draco and before the food arrives a silver box does. Just *poof* onto my plate and I looked over at Draco and he was all "not me!" so I was beyond surprised. I opened it up and there was a calla lily it wasn't any Slytherin colour or anything it was just perfect. Draco and Harry hadn't sent it because they were hitting themselves over not doing it first but when I looked out at Snape he smiled and lifted his glass which is like a "I did it! I did it!" I grinned for the rest of the night as Draco tried to get my attention but failing miserably. _

**Friday, September 17****th**

_113lbs, Sweets 0, Fags 0 (Still in my good mood!)_

7:19pm

_So Harry is spending more time around me but who's complaining! We had a talk and I'm re-thinking everything in my life. I think I'm getting too attached to my diary I'm talking to it right now! So we were talking..._

"...And then I ducked under and grabbed his face and he went 'AHHHHHHH' and then he turned to ash and well I fainted but I was just really tired after you know defeating Voldemort for the first time." Harry ended his heroic story of his first year at Hogwarts.

"That's amazing" I laughed, "You are such a hero", I joked.

"See Hogwarts has changed you, see that right there when you first got here you were totally set on just getting guys and being as mean and cold-hearted as possible but all it takes is a few months and you are all warmed up!" Harry laughed clapping his hands together.

"What! Are you kidding me? No way I am just the same Hogwarts did not change me!" I yelled laughing along with him.

"Admit it Bridget you're a marshmallow!" Harry laughed playfully punching my arm.

"I am not!" I laughed saying goodbye to him and going off to charms.

_What if I am a marshmallow! What if I am changed! I thought about it all day during classes I couldn't keep my mind on work too. I do think I changed actually...I guess I have to accept it. That Bridget Mallory, she's a marshmallow._

_Mood; I don't know if it's a mood but I am feeling all clear on emotions and brains._

_Music; Jack & Jill Katie Herzig _


End file.
